Focusing On Wives Like Brides

                                                                Photo by Lauren Benson

                                                                Photo by Lauren Benson

If a picture is normally worth a thousand words, this one is worth millions. Photographer Lauren Benson snapped the shots of her cousin, Jai Kamat, at his wedding. When the doors opened up for his wife, Julie, to walk down the aisle, Jai's expression on seeing his bride were priceless. Guys who are married, we all remember that exact moment, don't we? We remember the butterflies, the excitement, and the love we felt. Do we have those same feelings when our wife enters the room, as we did when our bride entered the room? Probably not. To some degree, that is okay. Our relationship and love should have grown. But that does not mean we should have lost that romantic feeling.

How do we maintain that feeling? When those doors opened, we were focused on one thing only: our bride. Next to the Lord, the most important entity in our life on which we should focus is our spouse. Here are suggestions from the Bible on how to be as excited about seeing your wife as you were in seeing your bride:

1. Focus on her at work. That is what Jacob did for Rachel (Gen. 29:20). When you go to your job, think of it in that way. It is not "just a job." Rather, it is the way you provide for the woman you love. So, send her an email or a text message. Give her a call at lunch to see how she is. When you are consciously thinking of her all day, then all day you will be anticipating that moment you walk in the door and see her. 

2. Focus on her positives. The longer we are married to someone, the more we know about them. The more we know about them, the easier it is to find all of their flaws. When those doors opened on your wedding day, you didn't notice any flaws. Why do so now? You certainly have your own negatives that you do not want her focusing on, right? So, when mistakes are made, forgive. Think about the best qualities, rather than the worst. When negatives happen, learn and grow from them (Prov. 10:12; 17:9).

3. Focus on her only. This is a tough one, because the world bombards us with revealing images of others at every turn. Make a covenant with your eyes not to look at those depictions (Job 31:1), but go beyond that. Make yourself think of your wife. The Bible is full of passages that tell us in a variety of ways to be satisfied with our wives physically (Prov. 5:19; Song of Solomon 1:2; 4:10). Do not get caught in the trap of longing for others.

4. Focus on being hers. Remember that covenant you entered to. You are no longer yours - you belong to her. Realizing the permanence and oneness of marriage (and focusing on it daily) help us to realize an important fact. Of all the men on earth, she chose ME! She chose me to have and hold. She chose me to be with for a lifetime (Song of Solomon 2:16; 8:6; Eccl. 9:9; I Cor. 7:1-4)! That is amazing! How much more lovely will she look to me when I focus on that!

Men, these are just a few suggestions to get us started. The wise man wrote in Proverbs 30, 18-19 that one of the four things that amazes him - one of the four things he does not understand - is how a man loves a woman. When a man loves his wife as God has told us to (Eph. 5:25-31), it is truly an amazing thing. That ought not to wear off as time moves on. It ought to grow! Of his now viral picture, Kamat said, "When those doors opened and she walked out it was kind of surreal. Everyone was there, all our friends and family, and I was really happy and trying to hold back tears at the same time. It was a lot to take in at once.” Remember that feeling of love and romance? It is easier to maintain it when we focus on our wives. 

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